I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
