i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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