I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
this will be a night to untag.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
