420 ftw
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
