I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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