tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
