I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize