Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
