saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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