we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
