I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
