I should be sponsored by Trojan
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize