I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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