We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
