a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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