My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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