Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
