They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
