You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
When are your genitals available?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize