Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize