All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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