Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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