I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
