3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
