I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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