I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
