i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
