Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
