you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
