I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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