I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
