pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He did a backflip because drugs
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