the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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