JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
