This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
