okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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