i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
