So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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