He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
