dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
