I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
