i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
