In the future we'll all be gay
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
