you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
