I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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