69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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