Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
