chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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