I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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