How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
