just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
operation have a gay friend backfired
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
