I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
