But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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