Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
