ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize