let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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