Im at strip club and am horny
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize