AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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