Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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