I'm gonna have a badass scar
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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