I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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