No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
