areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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