so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
