Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
