Where is the hickey?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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