i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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